I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
what day is it and did you see me today?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
