He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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