the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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