the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize