Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There r osticjed everywhere
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
