Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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