just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Duck Duck Cougar?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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