Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
