I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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