shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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