me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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