Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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