my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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