I'll bet she douches with gravy.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
