bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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