You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
