I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
