On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
