I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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