considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Someone came in the potted fern
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
