I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
