I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My ass is underappreciated
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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