Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
