Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
