so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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