the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
