the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
nutella sex= disaster
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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