you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There r osticjed everywhere
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
