I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
