"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
