I think I died a long time ago.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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