Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
