i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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