Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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