It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
