I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
