Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
