he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
