i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
