why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
