its not stalking. its research.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
