Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
