I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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