So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
