and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
