His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
