That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
