My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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