I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
