question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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