I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
